Post by Arianne-3ad on Oct 18, 2003 16:49:05 GMT -5
Upfront disclaimer: This is my opinion, my opinion only.
Respect is such an odd thing. People always talk about giving and earning respect and others betraying respect, but they don't mean respect, they mean acceptance. Respect is not a symbiotic relationship, whereas acceptance is. You say to a person 'I accept you because we have this in common or because you don't do this and as long as you continue to act in this manner you will keep my acceptance'. You essentially make a contract on correct behavior. Most (not all) people would rather have more acceptance in their lives then respect.
Respect, on the other hand, is more of a one-way street. You give a person respect based on your perceptions of them, regardless of what activities that person is involved in.
You cannot betray someones respect for you, although you can lose it. You cannot earn someones respect, although you can gain it. You can give someone respect, but it should not need to be acknowledged nor advertised.
By clearly understanding the differences between these two forms of honor I can honestly say that I respect the ultra-fundamentalist christian who lives next to me because he treads a difficult path with his own grace and dignity, but I do not accept him. I can also say that I have acceptance for the hippie-chick that's in my photography class, but I do not respect her because her opinion and actions too often bend to the common will.
Why do I bring this up? I have found it's common in written communications that people mistake losing acceptance with losing respect and vice versa.
Also, I believe if I post a thought provoking thread ever so often, it will decrease the amount of inane squabbling on the lists
Comments and Criticisms are welcome
Ari
Respect is such an odd thing. People always talk about giving and earning respect and others betraying respect, but they don't mean respect, they mean acceptance. Respect is not a symbiotic relationship, whereas acceptance is. You say to a person 'I accept you because we have this in common or because you don't do this and as long as you continue to act in this manner you will keep my acceptance'. You essentially make a contract on correct behavior. Most (not all) people would rather have more acceptance in their lives then respect.
Respect, on the other hand, is more of a one-way street. You give a person respect based on your perceptions of them, regardless of what activities that person is involved in.
You cannot betray someones respect for you, although you can lose it. You cannot earn someones respect, although you can gain it. You can give someone respect, but it should not need to be acknowledged nor advertised.
By clearly understanding the differences between these two forms of honor I can honestly say that I respect the ultra-fundamentalist christian who lives next to me because he treads a difficult path with his own grace and dignity, but I do not accept him. I can also say that I have acceptance for the hippie-chick that's in my photography class, but I do not respect her because her opinion and actions too often bend to the common will.
Why do I bring this up? I have found it's common in written communications that people mistake losing acceptance with losing respect and vice versa.
Also, I believe if I post a thought provoking thread ever so often, it will decrease the amount of inane squabbling on the lists
Comments and Criticisms are welcome
Ari
...me!....LOL! ;D
